Ada yang tak sempat tergambarkan oleh kata

Hopes, no matter how real, are not. Plans, no matter how detailed, aren’t your reality. Dreams, no matter how beautiful, will vanish once you wake up. And us, no matter how hard we fought, is no longer there. 

Ketika kita berdua

Hanya aku yang bisa bertanya

Mungkinkah kau tahu jawabnya

I am desperate enough to keep on asking what is wrong, what did I do wrong, and why the hell we didn’t work out. Wondering, over and over and over again. But I think we knew, the questions were never really mine. They were all yours. Your answers were never really the truth, no matter how honest you spoke of it. And I was lost. I am lost, more than ever.

I am desperate enough to let you talked me out of it all. 

You have all the questions but I am never the answer.

It was that simple. It was that painful. It was that devastating.

It was that heart-breaking.

Malam jadi saksinya

Kita berdua diantara kata

Yang tak terucap

In the still of the night, you told me many things. You spoke of many words. Yet, the most important thing was left unsaid. What became clear was that we were no longer should pursue tomorrow; that we should linger in yesterday; that you and I will walk a different path from then on. 

 

Berharap waktu membawa keberanian

Untuk datang membawa jawaban

There’s a big gap of what if. Okay. Okay. I know it isn’t healthy to do the what if situation. But, hell, I am not thinking straight. I am not sleeping right. I don’t like food the way I used to. Even my body isn’t responding right to this situation. Or is it? Is this the right response? 

I am expecting endless crying, screaming, shouting. Where’s that anger? Where’s that rage? 

What is the feeling that I have now? As if I am falling to an endless pit of emptiness. I don’t know how long I can hold on to this. I just want to get it over with. I just want to get pass of it. When does it end? 

Time surely will heal, but how much longer? 

I don’t even recognise how I feel. I don’t recognise me. I keep on pushing myself to the surface but all I wanted to do is lay on my bed and let the day passed me by – which I did, most of the time by the way. 

Mungkinkah kita ada kesempatan

Ucapkan janji takkan berpisah selamanya

But there’s a part of me whispered, you could made me happy; you just chose not to go that road. And I need to find a way to be okay with the fact that you didn’t take the chance. Now that you want us back, I am not there. At least, not for now.

 

 

writer’s note: This is not the meaning of the song and definitely not me reviewing the lyric. It just something that came up through my mind each and every time this song is played. I know we often have stories behind various songs and consider this as one of mine.

 

mf, 22nd May 2014, 5:07am-